Have you asked yourself this question before? Has it been on your mind recently?
Often we don’t even realize we are stuck in the narcissistic abuse cycle. We have been conditioned to normalize the trauma this person inflicts on us. I know I had no idea what was happening during the worst points in my relationship. I knew it was confusing and I felt like I was going crazy. This is all intentional. I blamed myself all the while suffering the effects of narcissistic abuse.
Signs you’re a victim of narcissistic abuse
Walking on Eggshells
I had never heard this term when I was in the worst times with my narcissist. It perfectly describes the constant state of hypervigilance you feel in this type of toxic relationship. You are always holding your breath, waiting for the other shoe to drop. You know the narcissist’s triggers and you will do anything to prevent them from happening. I found myself sitting on the edge of my seat. I even went so far as to ask my husband and daughters not to talk about certain subjects in the narcissist’s presence. I was trying so hard to avoid any of his triggers.
This constant state of hypervigilance is not healthy for you. This perpetual stress is no good for your mental, emotional, or physical health.
You find yourself isolated from family & friends
Narcissists intentionally isolate their victims from friends and family.
One of the narcissist’s greatest fears is exposure. They don’t want you to share their cruel behavior with people close to you. So they make sure that you are distanced from those closest to you. When you want to spend time with friends or family they make you feel guilty for leaving them.
I had a client who’s daughter is in a toxic relationship with a narcissist. She lives less than a 2 hour drive away but every time she’s tried to bring their granddaughter home to visit, the narcissist says “but I like to see her sleeping when I come home at night.” This type of manipulation keeps my client’s daughter and granddaughter isolated from them purposely.
You need to find your beacon of light. Someone who will listen to what you’ve been through, be there for you and support you. This is one of the next steps to healing. Your people will still be there even if your narcissist has tried to remove them from your life. They love you.
You put the narcissist first over any of your needs
This emotional torture forces you to focus on the needs of the narcissist you’re your own basic needs. In the worst times of my relationship with my father, I suffered debilitating insomnia, gastrointestinal problems, skin issues, irritability, intense anxiety, and depression.
These are just a few of the physical and mental issues you may encounter when you’ve suffered narcissistic abuse.
One of the first questions I ask my coaching clients is how they are sleeping. Sleep is critical for your overall health. If you’re not sleeping, please take action today. Healing isn’t a luxury – it’s a necessity.
These are some of the signs you’ve suffered narcissistic abuse and may be in a toxic relationship. I have many tools and resources available free on my website. Please seek out more information. Educating yourself about narcissistic personality disorder and the narcissistic abuse cycle will prepare you to leave this toxic relationship. I understand exactly where you are. I have been there. I’m a survivor of narcissistic abuse, an author, an attorney and a narcissistic abuse recovery coach.
You are the most important project you’ll ever work on. It’s time to invest in yourself the way you’ve invest in everyone else. Let’s start now.
You don’t deserve this abuse. Stop settling for less than you deserve. The best is ahead of you.
I’d love to speak with you. Select a day and time here: https://www.lynncatalano.com/free-session
Check out The Narcissist Slayers podcast https://www.youtube.com/@TheNarcissistSlayers/featured
You can find my book “Wrecking Ball Relationships” on Amazon, BarnesandNoble.com, and lynncatalano.com.
If you’re looking for my Top 10 Answers to your Top 10 Questions about Narcissists, just go here: https://buff.ly/3yUt43z