Easter, Ruined

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This week I’m sharing a letter I received from someone who’s had their holidays ruined by a narcissist. I know so many of you have had similar experiences, me included.

If you’ve experienced the chaos, the circus, and the conflict, you know how narcissists ruin and wreck every holiday, special occasion, family gathering. You’ve witnessed the narcissistic rage storms. You’ve been punished with the silent treatment. It’s just the worst experience.

Dear Lynn,

The holidays used to be my favorite time of year—until I spent them with a narcissist.

What was once a season of warmth and joy became a carefully staged performance where I was cast as the villain, the problem, the ungrateful one. Every Easter, Christmas, Thanksgiving, birthday, or anniversary was hijacked—twisted into a spotlight for their ego and a battleground for control.

What should’ve been a gentle, joyful holiday was turned into yet another carefully orchestrated performance where they played the lead role—and I was cast as the ungrateful, dramatic one. Every Easter became a battlefield, not of eggs or pastels, but of control, emotional manipulation, and subtle cruelty.

There was one Easter where I invited a few close friends to join us. They were charming, of course—making jokes at my expense in a way that made everyone laugh but left me silently humiliated. I cleaned up alone while they disappeared to “rest,” and I cried in the kitchen wondering how I let myself hope for something different.

One year, I cooked an entire holiday meal, hoping maybe, just maybe, things would go differently. Instead, they found fault with the food, the timing, the music, the guests. I was left exhausted, barely holding back tears in the bathroom while they charmed the room with fake smiles and smug little digs at my expense.

Holidays with a narcissist aren’t just hard—they're emotionally brutal. You’re constantly walking on eggshells, not because you want the perfect holiday, but because you’re trying to survive it.

It wasn’t just the gaslighting, the triangulation, the manipulation—it was how they turned what should have been moments of connection into a theater of cruelty. And somehow, they always made me question if I was overreacting. Spoiler: I wasn’t.

Now, in recovery, I look back and grieve—not just the holidays lost, but the version of me who tried so hard to fix what was never mine to fix.

Thank you for being someone who gets it. Thank you for reminding us that even the holidays can be healed.

Warmly,

Elizabeth W.

Dear Elizabeth,

Thank you so much for sharing your story with me. I could feel the weight of those Easter mornings—the pain behind the pastel, the exhaustion behind the smile, the hope that maybe this time would be different… and the heartbreak when it wasn’t.

What you described is something I hear far too often, and yet every story is deeply personal. Holidays with a narcissist are a special kind of emotional warfare, because they take the very moments meant for joy and connection—and RUIN them to center themselves, provoke chaos, and rob you of peace.

And here's the truth: you are not crazy, dramatic, or too sensitive. You were living in survival mode. What you felt was real. What you went through matters.

I created my course, "Narcissists R.U.I.N. & Wreck Every Special Occasion," for exactly this reason. It’s designed to help survivors like you unpack the patterns narcissists follow—how they Ruin, Undermine, Invalidate, and Need to dominate during events that should be about love and togetherness. Once you see the pattern, you can start to break free from its emotional grip—and rewrite your holidays from a place of power. Get the roadmap to protect your emotional well-being and set healthy boundaries.

You may also find deeper validation and understanding in my book, "Wrecking Ball Relationships,"  where I dive into the emotional aftermath of these toxic dynamics and how to reclaim your voice and boundaries—not just during holidays, but every single day of your life.

And if you’re ready for more personalized support, I would be honored to walk with you through 1:1 coaching. Together, we can address the lingering trauma, rebuild your self-trust, and create a future where holidays—and every day—feel safe, sacred, and actually yours again.

You deserve a life that doesn’t feel like damage control. You deserve peace without performance. Joy without apology. Healing without shame.

I see you. I believe you. And I’m here when you’re ready to take the next step.

With so much warmth and belief in your healing,

Lynn Catalano, Esq.

Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Coach

Narcissists Ruin Holidays

What can you do? How do you cope with a narcissist in your family?

You need to do something. You can't tolerate another holiday and do the same thing.

If you could learn how to respond mindfully, how to protect your mental health, how to set boundaries, when to disengage, how to de-escalate - wouldn't that change your perspective on the holidays?

I relate to you on such a deep level. You see, in my family, every Thanksgiving it wasn’t a question of whether my father would have a narcissistic rage storm and ruin the holiday, it was when. This never ended well. My mother would be crying, my grandmother crying. My mother’s family grew to hate my father. He would literally ruin every family get-together. My course will help you.  It gives you so many strategies to not only survive the holiday but actually have peace. It’s fast, easy and affordable. You can take it and get all the information before Easter or your next family gathering.

👀 If you’re ready to break free from your narcissist,  enroll in the Break the Toxic Cycle of Abuse – Trauma Bonds course and start transforming your life today!

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👀 You can find my book “Wrecking Ball Relationships” on Amazon, BarnesandNoble.com, and lynncatalano.com.

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