Have you noticed that no matter the circumstances, people who suffer from narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) desperately need to be right all of the time?
Have you noticed they:
Need to always be in control of everyone and every situation
Need to always have the last word
Need to be superior to everyone
Narcissists Exist in a False Reality
In their false reality, narcs believe they are always the smartest person in the room and thus know everything. They have this air of contempt when others are speaking. My narcissistic father used to goad my husband and me, asking questions about current events, sure that he knew more, had a better grasp on events and ready to correct us or one-up us. It was so important to him to be right and let us know just how wrong we were. It was like a sport to him, setting people up to look stupid. He would get this look on his face, this smug look of satisfaction that it didn’t matter the topic, he was always right.
Narcissists believe they know more than everyone, even experts. Narcissists refuse to take responsibility for their actions and seem unaware of how they hurt people. It is in their false reality where narcissists convince themselves they are justified in hurting other people as they are always right.
Narcissists have low emotional intelligence
Since narcissists can’t regulate their emotions, they can’t process criticism, failure, or defeat in a normal way. Their reactions to crisis or controversy are not normal so their go-to reaction is to go into a narcissistic rage storm. Sometimes this results in the Silent Treatment or a loud screaming tantrum. This is especially so if they’re without their narcissistic supply to comfort them. Narcissistic supply is the praise, envy, and recognition they need to function.
If you catch them in a lie and you show them incontrovertible evidence, they still cling to their lie. I couldn’t believe it. No matter how many times I set the record straight with my narcissistic father, he always went right back to his lie.
I wrote about this in my book “Wrecking Ball Relationships: How to Identify, Live With or Leave the Narcissist in Your Life.”
“Two and a half months after he asked that question of Greg, he changed his story again. First, it was a misinterpretation, then it was a joke. Now he sent another email:
“I do not know why I responded about the appointment. I should have never talked to him about anything to do with the Hospital and you. He brought it up. He mentioned that you were considered. I should never have kidded him -- what about me. He answered send me a resume quickly. I did not respond and never even considered doing anything because I said that to him in a jovial way not serious at all--- he has always kidded with me ---that was my answer-- not serious.”
WHAT? Greg asked my father for his resume? More lies. I asked if this was a joke, why didn’t he attend the hospital Gala? Why was he angry with the hospital? Greg never asked for his resume. My father was sinking into the tactic of gaslighting; changing what happened to fit his narrative.”
Power & Control
It always comes down to power and control. When the narcissist feels like they can no longer control you, then they will try to control the narrative and attack you. Their fragile sense of self-esteem has been threatened and they respond with this defense mechanism. It’s their way of manipulating the narrative to portray you as the villain.
I know I wasn’t paying attention to how the relationship affected me. If you do nothing, if you don’t address this trauma, it will bleed into every aspect of your life affecting how you show up for everything. The trauma takes a toll on your mental, emotional, and physical health. I know at the worst points in my relationship with my father, I had terrible insomnia, gastrointestinal problems, skin reactions, and more. This is why it’s so critical to talk to someone. But not just anyone. You need to find someone who’s familiar with narcissistic personality disorder. You see, I didn’t get here by accident. I didn't set out to become a narcissistic abuse recovery coach. But after I’d suffered this kind of abuse, I realized that my story and my experience could help so many people who’ve suffered similarly. When someone tells me about their struggles and their story, I’m not just understanding. I really get it. I’ve been there. I’ve felt those same emotions, that same rage, and loss.
When will you be ready to say enough is enough?
Are you trapped in the cycle of a toxic relationship with a narcissist? The damage is real, and it's time to break free. You can't afford not to know the truth about trauma bonds. You can't afford not to know. The cost of staying in a damaging relationship is too high. Emotionally, mentally, and physically continuing in this cycle can devastate every aspect of your life. This isn't just another course; this is your lifeline.
The damaging effects continuing in a trauma bond with a narcissist is like living in a nightmare you can't wake up from. Everyday, you're losing a part of yourself. The longer you stay, the deeper the scars. It's time to put an end to the suffering. The toll on your brain, body, and mental health: prolonged exposure to narcissistic abuse rewires your brain. It disrupts your ability to think clearly, make decisions, and process emotions.
You can't do this alone. I can help you.
Work with me one-on-one or take one of my courses.
Free yourself from the narcissist. Break your trauma bonds for good.
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Take this as your sign to take action today. Learn how to break the trauma bonds for good this time.
You can find my book “Wrecking Ball Relationships” on Amazon, BarnesandNoble.com, and lynncatalano.com.
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